With deep breaths she attempts
To release
Steel wool snarls of
Tightly knotted composure
Relax, if just a split-second
Into starkness of her own truth
Unstrung, her heart heavily crumbles
Falls leaden into her gut
As lovingly crafted
Poorly formed cookies
Drop in sweet shambles
To baker’s chagrin.
Terrified witness to
Her hearts demolition
Or was it instead
Brittle protective shell?
Winter, wind-borne, advances
Laps cold against exposed cheek
Enticing skin, licks treachery
Fantasized long-lost kiss
Haughtily bestowed by angry ex-lover
Hints of danger dismissed
Prolonged contact’s seduction disdained
Barefaced, she faces grey chilling
Stem of flowered reminder
Fuscia born of December sun
Plods onward through mist-speckled air
Stairwell snowdrifts
Tell their tales:
Aged building construction
Flirting with decrepitude
Accumulates corrugated-wall piles
Powdery fluff pyramids
Wind gust deposited
Line ascending trek
Doorway drift tread marked
Footprint evidence imprint
Track smokers’ steadfast ventures
Into the wind, puffing
To feed their habit
Today a woodpecker surprised her
Rat-tat-tat-tatting above her head.
She ventured, sneakered
Cross snowdrifts
To stand under a tree.
Soul starved for nature’s commune
Amongst, perhaps, avian companions.
Cardinal peeks brilliant scarlet
Between stark brown branches.
Silently soaking golden rays
Seeds cupped in palm outstretched
Spirits lighten with glittery
Snow-sparkle
Reflecting afternoon sun.
In quiet pecking
Gently beckons
Lifts curious wondering eyes
Black and white flurried movement
Catches casted glance
Upside down and sideways
He flutters branch to branch
Beauty in flustered determination
Rank denoted by rubied crown.
Her lips curve in pure delights
At the unexpected sight
In the stillness of
The snow drenched world
Whitening hush reigns
With care and reverent awe
Sneakered feet gingerly step
Through deep drifted ledges
Seeking oasis of bare-limbed tree
Harboring hardy feathered friends
“Cheep” descends from on high
Simple and heart-piercing greeting
Chapped hand cautiously outstretched
Open offering of sunflower seed
Frigid wind ripples palm edges
Tilts paltry kernel pile
“Cheep” returns, lowering, nearer
Contemplating proffered snack
Multiple “cheeps” betray
Lingering consideration
In caution, seeds are va-taken
Fingers numbing
She ground scatters seed
Retreats with loving upward glance
Gifting and gifted, both.
Storm’s swirling eddies
Spin snow mist-dancing
Sprinkle miniscule flakes
Kiss on reverent upturned face
Blowing hair, defiantly bared
Collects twinkling crystal gems
White-blanketed world
Quiet in snow-muted hush
Lies distantly veiled
Birds dart black tangents
Startling feathered contrast
Against windswept backdrop
January’s signature masterpiece
Sneakered feet squeak-crunch
Upon powdered snow-lined track
Cover glitters, sand granule sparkly
In watery sun’s passing glance
Incipient moisture hovers
Gently coats edges of breath
Full moon mistily shrouded
Early riser, vigilant sentinel
Bestows benevolent blessing
On season’s belated first snow
A crumb of hope
Was given her
This January bleak
Pass it on
The sender said
If more is what you seek
In sharing hope
It multiplies
From under rocks it peeks
Chasing doom
And gloom away
Diaphanous rays unique
Held too tight
With grasping clasp
Hope’s magic would be weak.
Her fearful heart
Unclenches slow
By inches o’er the week
She gathers crumbs
From underfoot
Of Hope commits to speak
In prison
Yet not of it
She sits perpetually apart
Greets with polite nods or smiles
Speaks now and then
In answer to questions
Comments on general topics
Feels the communal
Abject misery
Invisible (fire-breathing) monster
Inhaled them one and all
Born in pulsating fear
Bread on innate curiosity
Observations surface
Bubble above frothing foam
Social strata reconfigured
Streetwise hustlers hustle
Sell contraband of every ilk
Scratch, sneak and claw
To make each illicit buck
Squandered freely on their vices
Openly peddled cheese cake
Whispering staircase-sold
Cigarette, pills or more
Perpetuating and mutating
Not changing comfort-worn clothes
Same roles, differing venues
Religious contingent
Seeks refuge in Bible and prayer
Finds solace among
God-littered platitudes
Reason exists in suffering
Burdens doled out only
To those whose strength
Can bear up under weight
Distribute Biblical verses
Prayer pushers extraordinaire
Fitting amongst neither group
Her aloneness reverberates
Plaintive bleating from her soul
Imprisonment forever separates
Her from the real world
Piercing loneliness now
Threatens forever to follow
Head bowed
In protection
Against cold-whipping wind
Sheltering vulnerable neck
In shadow of stubborn-clenched jaw
Eyes downcast
In shame
Burning with humiliation
Leadened with missteps
Avoidant of public judgement
Dogging every movement
Chindipped
In trepidation
Dodging dangers present and future
Watching each footfall
Toward potential preservation
Of aching body
Tortured and and frazzled soul
With fear and determination
Blended in virulent war
She pulls jacket collar higher
Sucks in a wavering breath
Raises head in millimeters
Lifts eyes along with chin
Faces world anew
Insights from "Inside" 