Bitch, You’re in Prison

Indicate by circling the correct translation of this quote, consistent with its cultural context.

  1. (Spoken in an amiable discourse) “You have to remember within this police state, logic and rationality do not apply.”
  2. (Laughing, without rancor) “You can’t honestly believe, no matter how reasonable and important your concern is, that anyone will take you seriously. We’re inmates, not actual people.”
  3. (Spat out venomously) “I have fully degraded myself to the basest behaviors observed within the incarcerated milieu, and thus I expect no more from you.”
  4. (To a friend) “I am aghast at the dehumanizing conditions in which we are forced to exist (living being too noble of a term to apply to this situation.) I empathize greatly with your excruciating pain and fervently wish, however futilely, that I possessed some way to alleviate it.”
  5. (Dangled in the hallway, to whomever may take the bait) “Since, by virtue of my current incarceration, I have been deemed a rule-breaker, it seems incumbent upon me to therefore violate all possible regulations, in validation of my label.”
  6. (Screamed, in full combat mode) “How dare you request, no matter how appropriately, that I deign to give you any modicum of respect!! I shed what few pro-social attitudes I previously possessed when I walked through these portals to hell.”
  7. (Genuinely) “I wholeheartedly commiserate with your dismay about the interpersonal landmines strewn haphazardly through these halls. It is incredibly difficult to know whose talk can be believed or who can be trusted. I urge you to continue to employ the utmost caution prior to divulging any confidential information.”
  8. (Resignedly) “Yes, it is wholly disheartening to be callously relegated to this inhumane environment. It goes against everything we have been led to believe about our inalienable rights as citizens of the leader of the free world! It is utterly disempowering and traumatizing and we have no standing to effect any change.”
  9. (Astounded) “I cannot wrap my feeble addled mind around the fact that you continue to advocate for yourself or others within this environment. The goal of this Machiavellian social experiment is the crushing of the human spirit. Why have you not succumbed?”
  10. (Malevalently) “This is my announcement to you that I have been irrevocably poisoned by this experience. I will not hesitate to engage in vicious, violent acts and assign all responsibility to the situation.”
  11. (Contemptuously) “I cannot conceptualize a possible universe in which you successfully retained even the smallest sliver of self-respect. Therefore, when you act in accordance with your values, I will attempt to debase you, consistent with my lowest common denominator, by rampant utilization of juvenile name-calling.”

Correct Answer: Any of the above. In attempting translation of any statements from the dialect of the prison sub-culture, close attention must be paid to all nuances of the situation in which the statement is made. Mistranslation can be dangerous. Proceed with caution.

*Note that “bitch” is a ubiquitous salutation, indicative of pervasive internalized sexism and self-hatred, rather than any particular emotional state or perception of the addressee.


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