Taster’s Paradox

Devoid of flavor, substance

Teeth-achingly sweet

Assurances of future success

Sugar frosted pain denials

Provide no sustenance

Catastrophically dysregulate

Trigger depressive

Shockwaves on wake pf

Glycemic system crash

 

Inedibly blackened

Bitter rotten predictions

Gag-inducingly spoiled

Unswallowably toxic

Prognostications of perpetual

Stormy doom and gloom

Singe and curl the tongue

Starve cells and organs

Prompt systemic decay

 

Tastefully blended mix

Palatably bitter sweet

Acknowledgment of grainy lumps

Awaiting cringing consumption

Tough repetitive grinding chews

Seasoned with heaping spoonfuls of

Savory cautious hope,

Spicy determination

Dressed in loving drizzle

Quiet strong encouragment

Chased with steadfast belief

Nourishes

Replenishes depleted body

Quenches thirsty soul

Finishing Laps

Hesitant watery rays

Shift silvery to translucent

Crack open lowering gloom

Fall earthward in wavering shower

 

Faded cornflower blue breeze

Riffles tepid air’s edges

Kildeer freeze on approach

Pause peck-bobbing progress

Gravel-stood stillness elicits

Brilliant camouflage

 

Adventurous wandering doe

Heeding change’s inexorable call

Ventures far afield

In spring scented leaps and bounds

Spots track-rounding repetition

Flees with white-tailed exuberance

 

Rolling bluegrass hills

Horse speckled,

Grey-green in residual winter

Rimmed with trees, bare-limbed

Bearing silent witness

Mark circuitous trek

 

Oak leaves

Time and life tattered

Skitter and tumble aground

Bidding silent adieu

Forward

Ahead, precipice’s ledge.

Swirling grey fog

Obscures environs below

Hidden scratching thorns

Cavernous flooded crevices

Poisonous darting predators

Perhaps weed-encroached

A bedraggled budding flower.

Behind, baying hounds of hell

Furiously blood-ravenous

Rabidly pursue

Zeroed in on

Terror’s putrid stench

Razor sharp teeth

Gnash, slash, viscerate

Soft underbelly of vulnerability

Gentle unprotected heart.

Trembling, breathless

She steps off.

Deciphering the Prison Lexicon

“That fuckin’ motherfucker fuckin’ fucked me’ll up!”

Circle the response below that is the closest interpretation of this idiomoatic expression

  1. An individual, heretofore unknown, was ahead of me in line and received the last delicacy, which I had been craving.
  2. My business associate, with whom I engage in ongoing illicit enterprises, did not uphold her end of our agreement. I am disconcerted, though I have engaged in the same behavior. There is, in truth, no honor among thieves.
  3. An unexpected slip of the tongue resulted in a hilarious double entendre and side-splitting laughter
  4. My soulmate made love to me with earth-shattering spiritual intensity, culminating in toe-curling, multiple orgasmic ecstasy.
  5. My dear friend betrayed my trust by publicly divulging intimate personal information which I had conveyed in strictest confidence.
  6. While participating in nefarious underworld activities, an unsuspecting authority figure nonchalantly wandered past, nearly stumbling upon my secreted cache.
  7. I overheard a grisly tale of horrendous abuse, which was relayed with shockingly inappropriate humor and lack of consternation.
  8. A generally shy and retiring cohort made an out of character risque comment.
  9. The contraband mind altering substance, which I willingly consumed, had psychoactive effects beyond those which I sought and expected.

Correct answer: Any of the above. This idiomatic expression must be interpreted with heavy reliance upon non-verbal cues, including, but not limited to, tone of voice and body language, as well as contextual placement. Speakers who rely heavily on use of such idioms may well convey all of the above experiences with this solitary expression.

*Note the unique linguistic use of a single word to function as noun, verb, adjective and adverb.

Bitch, You’re in Prison

Indicate by circling the correct translation of this quote, consistent with its cultural context.

  1. (Spoken in an amiable discourse) “You have to remember within this police state, logic and rationality do not apply.”
  2. (Laughing, without rancor) “You can’t honestly believe, no matter how reasonable and important your concern is, that anyone will take you seriously. We’re inmates, not actual people.”
  3. (Spat out venomously) “I have fully degraded myself to the basest behaviors observed within the incarcerated milieu, and thus I expect no more from you.”
  4. (To a friend) “I am aghast at the dehumanizing conditions in which we are forced to exist (living being too noble of a term to apply to this situation.) I empathize greatly with your excruciating pain and fervently wish, however futilely, that I possessed some way to alleviate it.”
  5. (Dangled in the hallway, to whomever may take the bait) “Since, by virtue of my current incarceration, I have been deemed a rule-breaker, it seems incumbent upon me to therefore violate all possible regulations, in validation of my label.”
  6. (Screamed, in full combat mode) “How dare you request, no matter how appropriately, that I deign to give you any modicum of respect!! I shed what few pro-social attitudes I previously possessed when I walked through these portals to hell.”
  7. (Genuinely) “I wholeheartedly commiserate with your dismay about the interpersonal landmines strewn haphazardly through these halls. It is incredibly difficult to know whose talk can be believed or who can be trusted. I urge you to continue to employ the utmost caution prior to divulging any confidential information.”
  8. (Resignedly) “Yes, it is wholly disheartening to be callously relegated to this inhumane environment. It goes against everything we have been led to believe about our inalienable rights as citizens of the leader of the free world! It is utterly disempowering and traumatizing and we have no standing to effect any change.”
  9. (Astounded) “I cannot wrap my feeble addled mind around the fact that you continue to advocate for yourself or others within this environment. The goal of this Machiavellian social experiment is the crushing of the human spirit. Why have you not succumbed?”
  10. (Malevalently) “This is my announcement to you that I have been irrevocably poisoned by this experience. I will not hesitate to engage in vicious, violent acts and assign all responsibility to the situation.”
  11. (Contemptuously) “I cannot conceptualize a possible universe in which you successfully retained even the smallest sliver of self-respect. Therefore, when you act in accordance with your values, I will attempt to debase you, consistent with my lowest common denominator, by rampant utilization of juvenile name-calling.”

Correct Answer: Any of the above. In attempting translation of any statements from the dialect of the prison sub-culture, close attention must be paid to all nuances of the situation in which the statement is made. Mistranslation can be dangerous. Proceed with caution.

*Note that “bitch” is a ubiquitous salutation, indicative of pervasive internalized sexism and self-hatred, rather than any particular emotional state or perception of the addressee.