- We admitted we were powerless over our terrifying president – that the perpetual chaos is unmanageable
- We came to believe that megalomaniacal dictators greater than ourselves devolved our country into incessant insanity
- We made a decision to turn our lives over to cynical satire and gallows humor
- We made circuitous and circumvented investigations of scandals, red herrings and counterespionage hijinks
- We admitted to our Twitter followers, ourselves and thousands of faceless online peers the exact nature of our living nightmares
- We were entirely ready to have the universe remove all these defective characters from positions of power
- We humbly, fiercely, desperately begged Eleos (goddess of mercy) to remove these characters, short of sight and appendage
- We noted all the communities and populations harmed and stood shoulder to shoulder, backs against the “and Mexico will pay for it!” wall (#Alternative Facts)
- We directly supported such wronged individuals and confronted the short-headed Trumpettes, except when to do so would endanger those individuals or ourselves
- We continued to evaluate the overwhelming evidence of wrong-doing, and listen to knee-jerk pronouncements as “Fake News!”
- We sought through prayer, meditation, yoga, wine, and rending of our sackcloth to improve our contact with other non-Trumpdom residents, praying only that we will survive both Trumpageddon and Trumpocalypse
- Having awakened to the stark certainty that our Trumpaphobia is #Fact, we try to broadcast this message to all Trumpaphobics, and practice these principles in all of our (consensual) affairs