Twelve Steps of Trumpaphobia Anonymous

  1. We admitted we were powerless over our terrifying president – that the perpetual chaos is unmanageable
  2. We came to believe that megalomaniacal dictators greater than ourselves devolved our country into incessant insanity
  3. We made a decision to turn our lives over to cynical satire and gallows humor
  4. We made circuitous and circumvented investigations of scandals, red herrings and counterespionage hijinks
  5. We admitted to our Twitter followers, ourselves and thousands of faceless online peers the exact nature of our living nightmares
  6. We were entirely ready to have the universe remove all these defective characters from positions of power
  7. We humbly, fiercely, desperately begged Eleos (goddess of mercy) to remove these characters, short of sight and appendage
  8. We noted all the communities and populations harmed and stood shoulder to shoulder, backs against the “and Mexico will pay for it!” wall (#Alternative Facts)
  9. We directly supported such wronged individuals and confronted the short-headed Trumpettes, except when to do so would endanger those individuals or ourselves
  10. We continued to evaluate the overwhelming evidence of wrong-doing, and listen to knee-jerk pronouncements as “Fake News!”
  11. We sought through prayer, meditation, yoga, wine, and rending of our sackcloth to improve our contact with other non-Trumpdom residents, praying only that we will survive both Trumpageddon and Trumpocalypse
  12. Having awakened to the stark certainty that our Trumpaphobia is #Fact, we try to broadcast this message to all Trumpaphobics, and practice these principles in all of our (consensual) affairs


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