I Wanted…

I wanted you to love me

with chasing puppy enthusiasm

tumbling pell-mell

in your haste to be with me

 

I wanted you to cherish me

beyond winning buzzer beaters

championships victories and

emblems of grief

 

I wanted you to kiss me

as a life-affirming dementor

expanding our souls

in their communion

 

I wanted you to hold me

closer than body-plate

armor against fear

shield from calamity

 

I wanted you to see me

in foibled wholeness

backbending work in progress

pretzeled imperfection

 

I wanted you to claim me

rooftop proclaim us

more essential than outrage or

musical celebration

 

perhaps you did…

in ways mistily translucent

that now cling

hauntingly chilling

 

encroaching invisibility

corroded my soul

rust-encrusting pain

determination painted

 

I solved it, of course

 

eviscerated love on impatient

thrusts of my wounded urgency

I proved myself unworthy

terminally unlovable

 

you are gone

my heart howls madness

at the waning moon

still wanting

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4 thoughts on “I Wanted…

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