Stripped

I have stripped

languorous and playful

pirouetted inexpert

with bra-toss flourish

inside inviolable cocoon

of lover’s gaze

 

I have been stripped

icy delousing showered

quaking and shaking

silenced in shivering

submission, backlit

beneath baleful stares

 

I have sauntered

in my altogether

sipping coffee

of a lazy morn

desultorily conversant

secure in my abode

 

I have endured

humiliation de rigueur

squat and cough

correctional convention

senses and sensibilities

brusquely manacled

 

I am armored

today

in the smelted iron

outpouring

of all my

yesterdays

cloaked animalistic

in fervor

unbecoming

Writing on the Wall

industriously engaged

incrementally acclimating

to professional reincarnation

toes cramping

in too-small shoes

I stretch the binding

confines

wriggling

wiggle room

wrought of repetitive

dependability

titanium work ethic

earn stripes

quietly stitched

easing in seasoned seating

I analyze, problem-solve

process and sign

stare in consternation

trailing my hurried Hancock

scribbled suffixed scrawl

spilled automatic from my pen

yes, those letters

credentials conferring credibility

hard-earned honorary

near indecipherable

as befits a doctor

letters stifled

with honor defamed

letters missing meaning

relevant license lost

my fingers

must be itching

title-claiming twitching

they loosed

hard-scrabble squiggle

no longer invisible ink

my pen tells my brain

I am indeed

value added

no wash out

washed away

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fury Filled Fire-Water

your rhetoric

incinerated me

at the stake

a bonfire

all hopes of redemptive future

I drank deep draughts

from the goblet

you poured

overflowing of immolation

the hurricane

of my sorrows

left me charred

soggy clumps

I stank

with the pitiful stench

of abandoned homefires

coated in the pungent

clinging of my uselessness

I trudged, head down

into the gales

of your blistering derision

bolstering brittle limbs

with every smoke dragged step

my eyes began to eagle

your over-eager oogling

as my spines

full-feathered

soft protective plumes

I swallowed the lingering tongues

of salted flame

you lick

lapping at my wounds

I breathe branded fire

unsuccumbed to shame

witness the crackling fire

sparking from my eyes

and tell me again

how I will never

be anyone

nevermore

 

Sing, Nightingale

my tongue remains

whole, intact

yet strangely tied

on subjects

of my subjugation

a likely consequence

of messages

spoken and

unspoken

on the importance of

politeness

no boat rocking

diplomacy

courtesy

deference to authority

using my manners

being considerate

toward others

being, in general

a good Catholic girl

I am done

biting my tongue

to protect you

from discomfort

at hearing

the reality of

my experience

 

no more

fucking

Ms. Nice Gal

Salvage in Process

limbs leaden

she clamps ravaged

remnants of her cloak

around her

trembling frame

bleary

with vestiges

of disorienting

invasion

claret dregs

ooze mortification

now crusted over

tattoo

a lattice upon

her very

essence

on unsteady limbs

she forages

blindly

under the shadow

of blotted stars

knowing

somewhere

amongst the crumbled

leavings

she will salvage

herself

 

 

 

 

Internal Debate, Heated

 

in this culture of never enough

my thoughts get squashed

on thumping superhighways

clumped and bloody, crossing lanes

never good enough

thinks she’s too good for prison

we’ll all pay for this for the rest of our lives

too smart for her own good

it’s all your own fault

 

maggots feeding on road kill

worm and squirm cortically

insinuate my trauma isn’t

absent fractures or abscesses

arrested at gunpoint

officer shouting orders

terrified to unbuckle

 that gun in my face

wasn’t that trauma?

my mental committee

are buzzards circling, relentless

overshadowing a survival

unworthy of the name

my everything ended

I got up every day, in prison and out

I smile on purpose, repeatedly

I remember how to laugh, spontaneously

isn’t that surviving?

 

I find a message, mine,

insistent and daring

quixotically poetic

a wake of vultures feeds

on judgement’s carnage

poems unmetered or ill-rhymed

lacking classical references

off-center, gutsy or ill-timed

shout intrinsic authenticity

isn’t that my voice?

 

(image: Warren Criswell)

Moment by Moment

in the darkest days

she disbelieved

in the possibility of smiles

that future laughs

would shake her ribs

take her breath away

nor would she permit

the notion that she should

break the shackles

binding her to guilt’s

ball and chain

she had doubted

in the potential reconstruction

of a life beyond existence

worthy of enthusiasm

energy or zest

in those days of torment

she had disavowed the promise

thrust at her, in good faith

that bonds torn and frayed

could, in time

with patient perseverance

be re-knit in colors vibrant

incorporating her

where once she was ripped out

 

today she laughed

spontaneous, authentic

while dancing barefoot in the grass

to son’s retro music mix

today she was true mother

to moments of meltdown

steady at the ready

cherished role returned

in moments interwoven

unmarked, unplanned

unannounced

she lays a few more bricks

in her own reconstruction

 

(artist: unknown)

Soul Rape (as posted on Secret First Draft)

Recently I was afforded the incredible honor of being asked to join Secret First Draft. Today they published this piece:

naked and shackled

she is penned to the page

she clutches tattered

vestiges of dignity

shredded

she fails to cover herself

or fend off

the vicious stripping

of her privacy

with each heinous

thrust of pointed nibs

they anoint themselves

absolved of depravity

in her proclaimed guilt

“Isn’t it true

you were wearing

your naivete

cut down to there?”

they berate her

in rhythmic assaults

“we know you

strutted around in

your belief

 in human goodness”

they pound into her

bruised and battered

“we have pictures

of your giving nature

skin-tight, slit

to the moon”

they leer, animalistic

hiss and sneer

“we have witnesses

who will testify

you trusted

much too loosely

whore

they exhaust themselves

emptying poison

into her limp vessel

as with all

who become their prey

she falls silent

convinced any fight

provokes further violations

she closes her mind

shutters shattered psyche

while they chuckle

grin in self-congratulation

wiping themselves off

after the rape

of her soul

 

Still

I alone must

stand my ground

dig my tattered toes

into the gravely mound

that shifts

and lacerates

tender feet and heart

time and time again

bend my knees

loosen hips and sway

in hurricanic gales

imbibe frigid sips

of now

swallow down

seasick of futures past

release ghastly

ghostly fearful hoping

from hands

palm-scar-clenching

shrug off despair

in shoulders

strengthening

as the weight

of the world

sloughs off

raise fatigued

triumphant arms

welcoming

the tempest

elevate

tearstained earnest face

devour

the deluge

 

 

Photographer: unknown